Question by =]: Choosing not to implant my child with a cochlear implant?
If we were to have a Deaf child, we have decided not to implant. We know this is a controversial decision, but we are active in the Deaf community and I really see no need for it. Children with cochlear implants don’t even hear the same way normal “hearing” people do. Any surgery has risks and although cochlear implants do have benefits, we really just don’t think it’s worth it. Better technology could come out in the future and as long as the auditory nerve is stimulated in some way, it will not atrophy.
Just wanted general opinions on the matter.
Best answer:
Answer by Jan
Even if he had an implant, he would still be active in the deaf community. He would still need their support. If you really cared about offering all the world to your child, you would get the implant. If something better comes down the road in the future, great. If not, you haven’t limited him to never hearing. Honestly it kinda looks like you would be jealous of the child’s opportunity to hear. A good parent is selfless, and always puts their child ahead of them. Deafness is a disability. You could stop your child from being disabled, yet you’d choose disability for him. Put it this way, if you were living without the lower limbs due to a birth defect, and are perfectly happy with a wheelchair, then good for you. To deny a child the opportunity to walk with prosthetics, because you think a wheelchair should be good enough for him (as it is for you) would be very selfish and self centered. You don’t have the right to take away one of the major senses if there is something you can do to fix it. If the child gets hit walking across the street by a racing firetruck because he didn’t hear it (because you chose not to let him hear), his blood would be on your hands.
I do know what it is to have a disabled child. My son has vomited blood and choked on it and stopped breathing due to severe allergies. He survived by drinking feeding tube formula. I want the best for him. I want him to enjoy food, and flavors. I am doing everything I can to help him develop his ability to swallow (from dysphagia) and to see what foods he can eat (allergist). We are making progress. He also has muscle problems. Instead of being content with him crawling, I’ve taken him to numerous therapy appointments to get him walking. He doesn’t talk much. I’ve got him into speech to get him working on the problem. I encourage sign language, but refuse to restrict him only to that form of communication. He has a chromosome duplication that has a high rate of autism attached to it. He may be autistic, but it is my responsibility to do everything in my power to not let that limit him. I refuse to let him fail. I am not content to let him wallow in his diagnosis, and not push the edge to get him to where other children are. He may have it, but his life isn’t constricted by it. It isn’t his only identity.
I know what it is like to have your child put under anesthesia. It is very upsetting. I’ve seen it done 2x. I do it knowing I am attacking the problems that can limit his potential in life.
While the auditory nerve may not atrophy, his ability to gain language in his formative years will soon be gone. As everyone knows, the best time to learn a language, including a 2nd language is really before age 4-5. After that, you may learn it, but it is learned in a different way, and you will never be as fluent. If he gains hearing at lets say 15, it will take him many years to even get to the level of a child born with hearing at 3-4 yrs of age. His social difficulty with making friends could be permanent. Why limit his social relationships to deaf people only? If he can make friends in school, and go to a regular school, he won’t get labeled as an “outcast”. Not that a deaf child, or any other disabled child is an outcast, but he will be forever labeled as the deaf kid, instead of “Johnny”. I would prefer my child to be seen as a person and not a disability. You will be dead someday, and he will have to live the consequences of your decision. He will never be able to be employed in occupations that require hearing. Why not give him the opportunity to hear, and teach him sign language too? Then he can be an ambassador for the deaf community and educate others on this disability. Let him choose what he wants in life. It is not your choice to make.
I think to deny your child the opportunity to hear is heartless. I always want better for my children than what I have. I want them to be healthier, happier, more successful. You would be pigeonholing his life into the social world you find acceptable.
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